warm rain in february

2010

I am thinking it must be 1992 and Labour have just contrived to lose another general election? and I am therefore extremely jaded and think we are going to be stuck with the Tories for ever and ever and ever? Let us go through our random selection of girls from all social strata and look at what 2010 actually did hold for them:

Polly was evidently going to screw up whatever exams had replaced A-levels over a boy, and watch her father lose his seat. It seems to me more likely that she got her three A’s, went up to Oxford to do PPE, and is currently planning on being President of the Oxford Union in 2012. I also suspect her hair is longer and less mad, and that she wears more eyeliner.

Jade posts shit on deviantart and protests about tuition fees. She voted Lib Dem and is really disappointed in Nick Clegg. She does not sign her name with a frog because, let’s face it, that’s just odd.

Chelsea so does not want to work in a bank. She doesn’t wear massive bows in her hair either.

Kylie may have been destined at birth to be punished for her poor and promiscuous ways by contracting HIV from the random bisexual guy (Yes. Really. If you think that’s bad, wait till I post Daisy Chain) but… come on, no way that girl is straight.  Also, ‘new caring moral values’? HAHAHAHA.

Naz doesn’t really wear her hair in that weird flicky Bree Van Der Camp style as the sheer amount of product required would be way outside a student budget. Also, she doesn’t consider herself British because… I don’t know, why ever would she not consider herself British?

For the record, the rain in February 2010 was not warm, climate change having progressed at a slower rate than anticipated. February would be a stupid month to hold an election anyway, primarily on account of the not-warm rain.

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