Um, I went to a school that was 95% white so I should probably have a cookie for realising black people exist? No? You mean ‘black girl gets a boyfriend’ doesn’t constitute a plot? Even if I have given her an appropriately ‘black-sounding’ made-up name based upon my studies of the Rikki Lake show?

I think this is possibly the worst title ever invented. I might be able to understand it if the girl actually had an afro, but even then it would be the worst title ever invented. And naturally she has to be ‘sassy’. Head, meet desk. I have a feeling you are going to become close friends.

(I don’t really know why the picture has been done separately and stuck on with sellotape. Clearly I have sniffed all the glue.)

‘Fizzy, frizzy and dizzy’?!  [bangs head against desk repeatedly].

OK, words are failing me here. Sparky innocent girl torn between the twin evils of OMG RASCISM! and ‘political correctness’ because she happens to have a boyfriend the same colour as her? No wonder ‘poor Lesondra’ might ask what the big deal is. The only lessons I can draw from this are a) if you are a teenaged white girl at a school that is 95% white, you should keep the hell away from writing about race because you are going to get it horribly, offensively wrong, and b) if you have a teenaged white daughter at a school that is 95% white, do not, under any circumstances, allow her to watch repeats of nineties-era American talk shows.

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