avatarded

Small mostly illegible writing! That means I can do another line-by-line commentary [rubs hands in glee]

Earth, 2073. A space craft orbits the planet, containing a family of  ‘others’. Pondro, the father, is married to Glinna

Pondro. I’m going to say that again, just for the hell of it. PONDRO.

and has recently started an affair with his evil daughter Rillia

Eeew, random incest and labelling the abused child as ‘evil’. Just because Shakespeare does it doesn’t mean it’s OK. (Not that I had read Pericles yet, so I can’t even use that as an excuse.)

On Earth, Mark and his computer Trianne pick up signals from Glissop, a computer on the ship.

GLISSOP.

Glissop belongs to Raeone, Pondro’s youngest daughter. Raeone and Mark soon fall in love, much to the distress of his girlfriend Kady.

If my boyfriend was cheating on me with an alien he met on the internet, I’d be distressed too.

So do the computers.

The computers are in love as well? Why have they been programmed with this ability? I would be pretty pissed off if I found my newly-rechristened laptop was having a fling with some virus-ridden XP-running skank on the other side of the world.

Then Rillia finds out and threatens to tell Pondro.

Ah, this would be the evilness showing through.

Pondro hates Earth people.

OMG RASCISM!!!

But, unknown to all, he has a daughter on Earth —

OMG HYPOCRASY!!!

Clemantine, the bullied ‘hybrid’ who’s in love with Mark

What’s so great about Mark that he has three girls chasing after him? It’s not like he’s fit. Also, how and why does Pondro have a secret half-human daughter? Were there test tubes involved or did he just do the nasty with some woman he met on the internet? I don’t really want to think too much about the inter-species crossing, so let’s just marvel at Clemantine’s hair and move swiftly along.

Is the romance of Raeone and Mark doomed? Will they ever meet?

Do we actually care? I’m more interested in Trianne and Glissop, not to mention the stylish waistcoats which are apparently de rigeur in alien circles.

So yeah. I invented hot blue aliens. They are not Noble Savage hippy treehugging blue aliens, they are kind of evil and prone to random incest and impregnating other species; but Raeone is prettier than Kady, so there.

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