arachnophobia

Hmm, that text isn’t exactly readable, being a) cursive and b) shitty biro with random blots everywhere, but the gist is that a spider gets struck by lightning and…

Somehow the spider and the ghost of lonely Arabella had combined to make a new human being

Somehow? That’s your attempt at a scientific explanation for this crackfic? I don’t know how this even issued from my brain, given that I have never taken drugs in my life. Actually what is blowing my mind even more than the whole concept of spider-ghost-girl is this:

Ariane sends herself to school, where she is bullied.

No shit. She’s going to school for fun? I suppose it must be in order to meet people, or to satisfy a deep hunger for learning, but it still reminds me of that bit in Twilight where Edward turns out to have been in high school for like a century and my immediate response was ‘wow, he must be really thick.’ I am obviously shooting for ‘Arachne’ with the name and not quite getting there.

So then she pals up with the quiet fat girl in glasses, punishes the bullies a bit, but:

Soon Lynda is trapped in a tangled web as she hears the house is to be demolished, and the story of Arabella…

Ooh, get me with my painfully obvious metaphors. This is hurting my brain. Is it me or does Ariane look disturbingly like Cher, with her see-through spiderweb top and mad hair?

You see? People are scared of spiders for a REASON.